Akbar Birbal – Ku Su Joke
Akbar tells Birbal that he has learnt adding Ku to something makes it bad and Su to something makes it good.
While speaking all this Akbar’s Son enters the room, Birbal gets up says Come Come “Suvar” Saheb (which means pig). Akbar gets very angry on this insult, he asks Birbal to explain this. Birbal says Badshah you yourself said Ku means bad and Su means good, then how could I call your son “Kuvar” (a Rajput word for Prince), hence I called him Suvar…
एक बार राजदरबार में बैठे बादशाह अकबर ने कागज पर पैंसिल से एक लंबी लकीर खींची।
फिर बीरबल को अपने पास बुलाया और कहा- कुछ ऐसा करो कि न तो यह लकीर घटाई जाए और न ही मिटाई जाए लेकिन छोटी हो जाए?
बीरबल ने फौरन बादशाह के हुक्म की तामिल की और उस लकीर के नीचे एक दूसरी लकीर पहली से बड़ी खींच दी।
बीरबल ने कहा- अब आपकी लकीर मेरी लकीर से छोटी हो गई।
The Foolish Brahmin
Once upon a time a foolish brahmin came to visit Birbal with a strange request. He wanted to be addressed as ‘pandit’. Now, the term ‘pandit’ refers to a man of learning. But unfortunately this poor brahmin was uneducated. Birbal tried to explain the difference to him saying that it was not correct to call an uneducated man a pandit and because of this very reason it would be improper to call him so. But the silly brahmin had his heart set on this title.
So, as usual, Birbal had a brilliant idea. He said that as the brahmin was an uneducated man he should hurl abuses and stones at anyone who dared to address him by the very same title he wanted. Then Birbal called all his servants to himself and ordered them to call this lowly brahmin a pandit. The brahmin was very pleased. But the moment the servants started calling out to him as ‘pandit’ he pretended to be very angry and started to abuse them loudly. Then he picked up a few stones and hurled them in their direction. All as per clever Birbal’s advice.
All this shouting and screaming drew a crowd. When people realised that this brahmin was erupting every time anyone called him ‘pandit’, they all started to tease him. Over the next couple of days, he would constantly hear the refrain ‘pandit’ wherever he went. Very soon the whole town started referring to him as ‘pandit’ much to his delight.
The foolish brahmin never realised why people were calling him in this manner. And was extremely pleased with the result. He thanked Birbal from the very bottom of his foolish heart.
Santa ko mughalo ne pakad liya,
aur use akbar ke pass le gae…
Akbar: Isko bandi bana diya jaee….
Santa: nahi nahi jahan panah!!!!
reham!! Mujhe banda hi rehne do…
Akbar ne Birbal ko kuch aisa likhne ko kaha Jise khushi me padho toh gham ho,aur agar gham me padho toh khushi ho.
Birbal ne likha.
“YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA”…
Elephant In The Pot
Akbar: Birbal, you are late as usual. You deserve to be hanged! But tell me why are you late?
Birbal: Forgive me, your majesty, I was trying to please my son.
Akbar: What is so difficult about that?
Birbal: He was asking me for silly things!
Akbar: Were you not able to please him?
Birbal: No, your majesty.
Akbar: No? Then you are not fit to be in the court of Akbar! I am fed up with your old tricks. (To guard) Hang him!
(Birbal falls at Akbar’s feet)
Birbal: Forgive me, your majesty. Give me a chance to prove that it is not easy to please one’s son.
Akbar: Come on, prove it!
Birbal: I shall act as your son, your majesty. Try to please me.
(Akbar gets up from his throne)
Akbar: What! Okay, I shall act as your father and try to please you. (Birbal weeps) Why are you crying, my son?
Birbal: Father, father …
Birbal: Father, father … a pot.
Akbar: (Angrily) Am I a pot?
Birbal: No, no, father. I want a pot.
Akbar: (Claps his hands) Minister, get a pot for my son. (A pot is brought in and Birbal plays with it) Are you satisfied, my son?
Akbar: My son, my son, what do you want?
Birbal: I want, I want an elephant.
Akbar: (Claps his hands) Minister, get my son a little elephant! (A boy dressed up as an elephant is brought in. Birbal plays with it)
Birbal: Father, father …
Akbar: (Angrily) What?
Birbal: Put the elephant in the pot.
Akbar: That is not possible.
Birbal: Put it in the pot.
Akbar: (firmly) Son, the pot will break!
Birbal: It should not break, it should not break. Put the elephant in the pot.
Birbal: (Falls at Akbar’s feet) Your majesty!
Akbar: (laughs aloud) Well, well, well. I forgive you.
Akbar : Hamare ammi abba humse itni mohabt karte thhe, ke hame sulane k lie sari sari raat jagte rehte, or hum fir b na sote the.
Birbal : Tbhi to aap eklote reh gaye huzoor.
Camel’s Neck Crooked Why ?
As you all know, Emperor Akbar was very impressed with Birbal’s wisdom and greatly enjoyed his quick wit. One fine morning when Akbar was especially pleased with Birbal, as a gesture of appreciation, he promised to reward him with many valuable and beautiful gifts.
However, many days passed, and still there was no sign of even one gift. Birbal was quite disappointed with the king. Then one day, when Akbar was strolling down the banks of River Yamuna with his ever faithful Birbal at his side, he happened to notice a camel passing by. He asked Birbal why the neck of the camel was crooked. Birbal thought for a second and promptly replied that it might be because the camel may have forgotten to honour a promise. The holy books mention that those who break their word get punished with a crooked neck; perhaps that was the reason for the camels crooked neck.
Akbar soon realised his folly of making a promise to Birbal for gifts and not honouring it. He was ashamed of himself. As soon as they returned to the palace he immediately gave Birbal his justly deserved reward. As you can see, Birbal always managed to get what he wanted without directly asking for it.
One day, Birbal was talking of a dinner he had eaten the day before. In doing so, he described brinjal (baingan) as be -gun i.e. without any good qualities. Akbar, who at the very moment was passing by, overheard this and started praising the qualities of the brinjal as bahu-gun i.e one without myriad qualities. Birbal promptly agreed. Thereupon, Akbar remonstrated with Birbal and asked him how Birbal could contradict himself. Birbal, with his famous presence of mind, retorted ‘But Your Highness, I am your servant and not of the brinjal!’