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The Foolish Brahmin
Once upon a time a foolish brahmin came to visit Birbal with a strange request. He wanted to be addressed as ‘pandit’. Now, the term ‘pandit’ refers to a man of learning. But unfortunately this poor brahmin was uneducated. Birbal tried to explain the difference to him saying that it was not correct to call an uneducated man a pandit and because of this very reason it would be improper to call him so. But the silly brahmin had his heart set on this title.
So, as usual, Birbal had a brilliant idea. He said that as the brahmin was an uneducated man he should hurl abuses and stones at anyone who dared to address him by the very same title he wanted. Then Birbal called all his servants to himself and ordered them to call this lowly brahmin a pandit. The brahmin was very pleased. But the moment the servants started calling out to him as ‘pandit’ he pretended to be very angry and started to abuse them loudly. Then he picked up a few stones and hurled them in their direction. All as per clever Birbal’s advice.
All this shouting and screaming drew a crowd. When people realised that this brahmin was erupting every time anyone called him ‘pandit’, they all started to tease him. Over the next couple of days, he would constantly hear the refrain ‘pandit’ wherever he went. Very soon the whole town started referring to him as ‘pandit’ much to his delight.
The foolish brahmin never realised why people were calling him in this manner. And was extremely pleased with the result. He thanked Birbal from the very bottom of his foolish heart.
Birbal Fake Death
One day the court barber, who was very jealous with Birbal, plotted a plan against him. So when the King called him again to trim his beard, he went and started trimming his beard. He said, “Sir, last night I dreamed about your father.” The King got interested, so he asked, “What did he say to you?”
“Sir, he said to me, that everything is good in paradise, but he feels a great absence of a good humorous man who can amuse him.” The King thought and thought, but nobody else he could think of except Birbal who could perform this kind of duty very well. And, naturally, the only way to go to heaven was through death. For a moment, Akbar was very sad to lose such a good man, but thinking of his father, he made up his mind.
He summoned Birbal and said, “I think Birbal you love me very much and you can sacrifice anything for me.” Birbal tried to understand his point but couldn’t guess. He said, “You know Majesty, I do.” “Then Birbal, please go to heaven to give company to my dear father.” Birbal understood that this was a wicked plan of somebody to kill him. He said to Emperor politely, “I will do so, but I need a few days to prepare myself to go to heaven.” The King said, “Certainly. You are giving me such a great favor, I allow you one week to prepare yourself.”
Now Birbal was worried. He thought, somebody has planned very well and he could not escape from this plan. He thought and thought. And then he found a way. He dug a ditch near his house which would serve as his grave, and dug a tunnel too which would open in a room of his house. After doing this, he returned to the Imperial Court. He said, ” I am ready, His Majesty, but there two conditions.” Akbar was so happy to hear this that he forgot that Birbal could put some odd conditions to him. He asked, “What are those conditions? Tell me soon. I will try to fulfill them so that you can go to heaven to be with my dear father.”
Birbal said, “His majesty, I wish to be buried near my house. And I want to be buried alive so that I can reach heaven alive to amuse your dear father.” The King found this logical and agreed up on them immediately.
So Birbal was buried alive near his house. Of course he made his way to his house where he lived in confinement for six months. After six months, he came out of hiding with grown beard and shabby hair and asked the permission to appear in the Royal Court.
Looking at him Akbar cried, “Where have you been Birbal?” Birbal said, “Your Majesty, I was in Heaven with your dear father. I had a very good time there with your father. He was so happy with my services that he gave me special permission to return to Earth.” Akbar was very anxious to know about his father, he asked, “Did he send any message for me?” Birbal said, “Yes Your Majesty, he said that very few barber can make it to go to Heaven, you can make out this from my grown beard and shabby hair, so he has asked to send your own barber to him immediately.
Akbar understood everything. He gave Birbal a big prize, and his barber the life sentence.
Akbar to Birbal: Kuch aisa likho jise khushi me padho to gam ho… aur gam me padho to khushi ho.
Birbal ne likha:
Ye Waqt Guzar Jayega
Santa ko mughalo ne pakad liya,
aur use akbar ke pass le gae…
Akbar: Isko bandi bana diya jaee….
Santa: nahi nahi jahan panah!!!!
reham!! Mujhe banda hi rehne do…
बादशाह अकबर बीरबल से बोले :तुम्हारी बीवी बहुत सुन्दर है !!
बीरबल ने कहा : हाँ सरकार मैं भी पहले ऐसा ही समझता था ,
पर जबसे बेगम साहिबा को देखा है
अपनी बीवी को भूल गया हूँ !!
इसके बाद बादशाह अकबर ने बीरबल की
बीवी के बारे में कभी मज़ाक नहीं किया !!
Khakar Peekar Bhi Roja Na Toote –
Akbar : Birbal koi aisa tarika batao ki main khau peeu or mera roza na tute.
Birbal : Huzur logo se laate khao or gussa pee jao sab kuch tutega magar roza nahi tutega.
Akbar used to ask many odd questions from his courtiers and amused himself. One day he entered the Royal Court, settled in his Royal chair, and asked his courtiers: “What punishment should be given to a person who pulls my mustache?”
One said, “He should be beheaded.”
Another said, “He should be flogged.”
Yet another said, “He should be hanged.”
“What do you think, Birbal?” the Emperor asked Birbal. Birbal kept quiet for a moment, then said, “Jahaanpanaah, he should be given sweets.” “What, Birbal? Have you gone crazy? Do you know what are you saying?” Birbal replied politely, “I am not crazy, Jahaanpanaah. And I know what I am saying.” “Then how can you talk like this?” the King asked in anger. Birbal again replied politely, “Because, Jahaanpanaah, the only person can dare to do this is your grandson.”
So pleased was the King with this answer, that he gave his ring to Birbal as a reward.
The Three Questions
King Akbar was very fond of Birbal. This made a certain courtier very jealous. Now this courtier always wanted to be chief minister, but this was not possible as Birbal filled that position.
One day Akbar praised Birbal in front of the courtier. This made the courtier very angry and he said that the king praised Birbal unjustly and if Birbal could answer three of his questions, he would accept the fact that Birbal was intelligent. Akbar always wanting to test Birbals wit readily agreed.
The three questions were
1. How many stars are there in the sky
2. Where is the centre of the Earth and
3. How many men and how many women are there in the world.
Immediately Akbar asked Birbal the three questions and informed him that if he could not answer them, he would have to resign as chief minister.
To answer the first question, Birbal brought a hairy sheep and said .There are as many stars in the sky as there is hair on the sheep’s body. My friend the courtier is welcome to count them if he likes.
To answer the second question, Birbal drew a couple of lines on the floor and bore an iron rod in it and said this is the centre of the Earth, the courtier may measure it himself if he has any doubts.
In answer to the third question, Birbal said Counting the exact number of men and women in the world would be a problem as there are some specimens like our courtier friend here who cannot easily be classified as either. Therefore if all people like him are killed, then and only then can one count the exact number.
One day, Birbal was talking of a dinner he had eaten the day before. In doing so, he described brinjal (baingan) as be -gun i.e. without any good qualities. Akbar, who at the very moment was passing by, overheard this and started praising the qualities of the brinjal as bahu-gun i.e one without myriad qualities. Birbal promptly agreed. Thereupon, Akbar remonstrated with Birbal and asked him how Birbal could contradict himself. Birbal, with his famous presence of mind, retorted ‘But Your Highness, I am your servant and not of the brinjal!’
Student Sir –
Sir : Birbal Kon Tha?
Student : Pata Nahi.
Sir : Padhai Pe Dhyan Do to Pata Chale.
Student : Raj,Sunny,Bunty, Kon Hain?
Sir : Pata Nhi.
Student : Beti Pe Dhyan Do to Pata Chale.. .
Akbar : Birbal koi aisa tarika batao ki main khau peeu or mera roza na tute.
Birbal : Huzur logo se laate khao or gussa pee jao sab kuch tutega magar roza nahi tutega.
Sir: Birbal Kon Tha?
Student : Pta Nahi.
Sir: Padhai Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale.
Student: Raj,Sunny,Bunty, Kon Hain?
Sir: Pta Nhi.
Student: Beti Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale..
How Akbar Meet Birbal
Akbar loved hunting and used to escape to go for hunting even from his studies. Well, later he became a better rider and hunter than any one of his courtiers. One day when Akbar went for hunting, he and his some of the courtiers went so fast that they left the others behind. As the evening fell, everybody got very hungry and thirsty, they found that they had lost their way and now did not know where to go.
At last they came to a junction of three roads. King was very happy to see the roads that now he could go reach his capital through one of these roads, but which road was to go to his capital – Agra. They were all thinking about it and could not decide it. In the mean time they saw a young boy coming along one road. The boy was summoned and Akbar asked him, “Hey young boy! Which road goes to Agra?” The boy smiled and spoke, “Huzoor, everybody knows that road cannot move so how these roads can go to Agra or anywhere else?” and laughed at his own joke.
Everybody was silent, didn’t say a word. The boy said again, “People travel, not the roads. Do they?” Emperor laughed at this and said, “No, you are right.” The Emperor asked again, “What is your name, young boy?” “Mahesh Das” The boy replied and asked the Emperor, “And who are you Huzoor? What is your name?” The Emperor took out his Ring and gave it to the boy. “You are talking to Emperor Akbar – the King of Hindustaan (India). We need fearless people like you. You come to the court, with this Ring I will recognize you immediately. Now tell me the way to get to Agra. We have to reach there soon?”
Mahesh Das bowing lowly pointed towards the road going to Agra, and the King headed on that road.
That is how the Emperor Akbar met the future Birbal.
Akbar : Hamare ammi abba humse itni mohabt karte thhe, ke hame sulane k lie sari sari raat jagte rehte, or hum fir b na sote the.
Birbal : Tbhi to aap eklote reh gaye huzoor.
Short Story : Birbal Always A Problem Solver
Several courtiers were vying to be the Royal Advisor of Emperor Akbar. So one day, when they came to the court, they said to the Emperor, “We want to be your Royal Advisor.” Akbar said, “No problem, but you will have to pass the test before you could be my Royal Advisor. And whoever would pass the test will be appointed my Advisor.” They agreed.
The King unfastened his waist cloth and lay down on the floor, and asked the candidates to cover him with that cloth from head to toe. Now everybody tried to cover him, but in vain. If one wanted to cover the head, then feet remained uncovered, or if the feet were covered, then his head remained open.
Just then Birbal entered the court, the king asked Birbal also, if he could cover him with that cloth from head to toe. Birbal paused a moment, then asked the Emperor politely, “Huzoor, Could you pull up your knees a little bit?” The King did so, and Birbal could cover him from head to toe with that cloth.
Realizing that they failed the test, the courtiers left the court quietly and then they never thought about being the King’s Advisor.
Kiss ka Vada
Akbar : Mujse Vada Kr Teri Biwi Ke Pehli Kiss muje Lene Dega.
Birbal : Vada Hujoor! Par Meri bhi ek Sart Hai.
Akbar : Bol?
Birbal : Shadi aapki Behan Se Karunga.
Count The Crows
One day Akbar was strolling in his palace gardens with his dear minister Birbal. Many crows were flying around. The King enjoyed their flying. Just then he thought, that how many crows could be in his kingdom and immediately posed this question to Birbal.
Birbal thought a moment, then said, “They are ninety-five thousand, four hundred and sixty three (95, 463) crows in your kingdom, Huzoor.” “How do you know that for sure?” the King asked. “You can get them counted, Huzoor.” Birbal said.,
The king again said, “If there will be less than that, then?” Birbal replied immediately, “That means that the rest of them have gone on vacation to some neighboring kingdoms.” “Or if there were more than that, then?” “Then it means that other crows are visiting your kingdom, Huzoor.”,
Akbar was very pleased with this answer of his question.
One day, when Akbar and Birbal were in discussions, Birbal happened to pass a harmless comment about Akbar’s sense of humour. But Emperor Akbar was in a foul mood and took great offense to this remark. He asked Birbal, his court-jester, friend and confidant, to not only leave the palace but also to leave the walls of the city of Agra. Birbal was terribly hurt at being banished.
A couple of days later, Akbar began to miss his best friend. He regretted his earlier decision of banishing him from the courts. He just could not do without Birbal and so sent out a search party to look for him. But Birbal had left town without letting anybody know of his destination. The soldiers searched high and low but were unable to find him anywhere.
Then one day a wise saint came to visit the palace accompanied by two of his disciples. The disciples claimed that their teacher was the wisest man to walk the earth. Since Akbar was missing Birbal terribly he thought it would be a good idea to have a wise man that could keep him company. But he decided that he would first test the holy man’s wisdom.
The saint had bright sparkling eyes, a thick beard and long hair. The next day, when they came to visit the court Akbar informed the holy man that since he was the wisest man on earth, he would like to test him. All his ministers would put forward a question and if his answers were satisfactory he would be made a minister. But if he could not, then he would be beheaded. The saint answered that he had never claimed to be the wisest man on earth, even though other people seemed to think so. Nor was he eager to display his cleverness but as he enjoyed answering questions, he was ready for the test.
One of the ministers, Raja Todarmal, began the round of questioning. He asked “Who is a man’s best friend on earth?” To which the wise saint replied, “His own good sense”. Next Faizi asked which was the most superior thing on earth? “Knowledge”, answered the saint. “Which is the deepest trench in the world?”, asked Abdul Fazal. And the saint’s answer was “a woman’s heart”. “What is that which cannot be regained after it is lost?” questioned another courtier and the reply he received was ‘life’. “What is undying in music” asked the court musician Tansen. The wise saint replied that it was the “notes”. And then he asked “which is the sweetest and most melodious voice at night -time? And the answer he received was “the voice that prays to God.”
Maharaj Mansingh of Jaipur, who was a guest at the palace asked, “what travels more speedily than the wind?” the saint replied that it was “man’s thought”. He then asked, “which was the sweetest thing on earth?” and the saint said that it was “a baby’s smile”.
Emperor Akbar and all his courtiers were very impressed with his answers, but wanted to test the saint himself. Firstly he asked what were the necessary requirements to rule over a kingdom, for which he was answered ‘cleverness’. Then he asked what was the gravest enemy of a king. The saint replied that it was ‘selfishness’. The emperor was pleased and offered the saint a seat of honour and asked him whether he could perform any miracles. The saint said that he could manifest any person the king wished to meet. Akbar was thrilled and immediately asked to meet his minister and best friend Birbal.
The saint simply pulled off his artificial beard and hair much to the surprise of the other courtiers. Akbar was stunned and could not believe his eyes. He stepped down to embrace the saint because he was none other than Birbal.
Akbar had tears in his eyes as he told Birbal that he had suspected it to be him and had therefore asked him whether he could perform miracles. He showered Birbal with many valuable gifts to show him how happy he was at his return.
Camel’s Neck Crooked Why ?
As you all know, Emperor Akbar was very impressed with Birbal’s wisdom and greatly enjoyed his quick wit. One fine morning when Akbar was especially pleased with Birbal, as a gesture of appreciation, he promised to reward him with many valuable and beautiful gifts.
However, many days passed, and still there was no sign of even one gift. Birbal was quite disappointed with the king. Then one day, when Akbar was strolling down the banks of River Yamuna with his ever faithful Birbal at his side, he happened to notice a camel passing by. He asked Birbal why the neck of the camel was crooked. Birbal thought for a second and promptly replied that it might be because the camel may have forgotten to honour a promise. The holy books mention that those who break their word get punished with a crooked neck; perhaps that was the reason for the camels crooked neck.
Akbar soon realised his folly of making a promise to Birbal for gifts and not honouring it. He was ashamed of himself. As soon as they returned to the palace he immediately gave Birbal his justly deserved reward. As you can see, Birbal always managed to get what he wanted without directly asking for it.
Teacher : who was AKBAR?
Boy : Akbar was gay!!
Teacher : why?
Boy : v hav heard. Laila-Majnu, ……Heer-Ranjha, Adam-Eve, Soni-Mahival & only Akbar-Birbal…;)