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Akbar : Hamare ammi abba humse itni mohabt karte thhe, ke hame sulane k lie sari sari raat jagte rehte, or hum fir b na sote the.
Birbal : Tbhi to aap eklote reh gaye huzoor.
Camel’s Neck Crooked Why ?
As you all know, Emperor Akbar was very impressed with Birbal’s wisdom and greatly enjoyed his quick wit. One fine morning when Akbar was especially pleased with Birbal, as a gesture of appreciation, he promised to reward him with many valuable and beautiful gifts.
However, many days passed, and still there was no sign of even one gift. Birbal was quite disappointed with the king. Then one day, when Akbar was strolling down the banks of River Yamuna with his ever faithful Birbal at his side, he happened to notice a camel passing by. He asked Birbal why the neck of the camel was crooked. Birbal thought for a second and promptly replied that it might be because the camel may have forgotten to honour a promise. The holy books mention that those who break their word get punished with a crooked neck; perhaps that was the reason for the camels crooked neck.
Akbar soon realised his folly of making a promise to Birbal for gifts and not honouring it. He was ashamed of himself. As soon as they returned to the palace he immediately gave Birbal his justly deserved reward. As you can see, Birbal always managed to get what he wanted without directly asking for it.
The Foolish Brahmin
Once upon a time a foolish brahmin came to visit Birbal with a strange request. He wanted to be addressed as ‘pandit’. Now, the term ‘pandit’ refers to a man of learning. But unfortunately this poor brahmin was uneducated. Birbal tried to explain the difference to him saying that it was not correct to call an uneducated man a pandit and because of this very reason it would be improper to call him so. But the silly brahmin had his heart set on this title.
So, as usual, Birbal had a brilliant idea. He said that as the brahmin was an uneducated man he should hurl abuses and stones at anyone who dared to address him by the very same title he wanted. Then Birbal called all his servants to himself and ordered them to call this lowly brahmin a pandit. The brahmin was very pleased. But the moment the servants started calling out to him as ‘pandit’ he pretended to be very angry and started to abuse them loudly. Then he picked up a few stones and hurled them in their direction. All as per clever Birbal’s advice.
All this shouting and screaming drew a crowd. When people realised that this brahmin was erupting every time anyone called him ‘pandit’, they all started to tease him. Over the next couple of days, he would constantly hear the refrain ‘pandit’ wherever he went. Very soon the whole town started referring to him as ‘pandit’ much to his delight.
The foolish brahmin never realised why people were calling him in this manner. And was extremely pleased with the result. He thanked Birbal from the very bottom of his foolish heart.
Teacher : who was AKBAR?
Boy : Akbar was gay!!
Teacher : why?
Boy : v hav heard. Laila-Majnu, ……Heer-Ranjha, Adam-Eve, Soni-Mahival & only Akbar-Birbal…;)
Akbar ne Birbal ko kuch aisa likhne ko kaha Jise khushi me padho toh gham ho,aur agar gham me padho toh khushi ho.
Birbal ne likha.
“YE WAQT GUZAR JAYEGA”…
Identifies the Guest
Once Birbal was invited for dinner by a rich man. When Birbal reached there, he found himself in a large crowd. The host greeted him warmly and took him inside. Birbal said, “I did not know that there will be so many guests in this gathering.” The host replied politely, “They are not guests, Sir. They are my employees except one who is the only other guest here besides you. Could you tell who is that other one guest here?”
“Maybe, I could. Tell them a joke, and I will observe them.” The rich man told the joke and everybody laughed uproariously. Perhaps this was the worst joke Birbal had ever heard in his life. Now the rich man asked Birbal, “I have told the joke, now you tell me who is the other guest here?” Birbal pointed out towards a man and said, “He is that other guest.” The rich man was very surprised hearing this that how could he recognize the other guest. He said to him, “You are right Birbal, but how did you recognize him?”
Birbal said, “Because only employees can laugh on such a joke. He was the only person who did not even smile on your joke, so I immediately recognized him as the other guest.”
One day, Birbal was talking of a dinner he had eaten the day before. In doing so, he described brinjal (baingan) as be -gun i.e. without any good qualities. Akbar, who at the very moment was passing by, overheard this and started praising the qualities of the brinjal as bahu-gun i.e one without myriad qualities. Birbal promptly agreed. Thereupon, Akbar remonstrated with Birbal and asked him how Birbal could contradict himself. Birbal, with his famous presence of mind, retorted ‘But Your Highness, I am your servant and not of the brinjal!’
Elephant In The Pot
Akbar: Birbal, you are late as usual. You deserve to be hanged! But tell me why are you late?
Birbal: Forgive me, your majesty, I was trying to please my son.
Akbar: What is so difficult about that?
Birbal: He was asking me for silly things!
Akbar: Were you not able to please him?
Birbal: No, your majesty.
Akbar: No? Then you are not fit to be in the court of Akbar! I am fed up with your old tricks. (To guard) Hang him!
(Birbal falls at Akbar’s feet)
Birbal: Forgive me, your majesty. Give me a chance to prove that it is not easy to please one’s son.
Akbar: Come on, prove it!
Birbal: I shall act as your son, your majesty. Try to please me.
(Akbar gets up from his throne)
Akbar: What! Okay, I shall act as your father and try to please you. (Birbal weeps) Why are you crying, my son?
Birbal: Father, father …
Birbal: Father, father … a pot.
Akbar: (Angrily) Am I a pot?
Birbal: No, no, father. I want a pot.
Akbar: (Claps his hands) Minister, get a pot for my son. (A pot is brought in and Birbal plays with it) Are you satisfied, my son?
Akbar: My son, my son, what do you want?
Birbal: I want, I want an elephant.
Akbar: (Claps his hands) Minister, get my son a little elephant! (A boy dressed up as an elephant is brought in. Birbal plays with it)
Birbal: Father, father …
Akbar: (Angrily) What?
Birbal: Put the elephant in the pot.
Akbar: That is not possible.
Birbal: Put it in the pot.
Akbar: (firmly) Son, the pot will break!
Birbal: It should not break, it should not break. Put the elephant in the pot.
Birbal: (Falls at Akbar’s feet) Your majesty!
Akbar: (laughs aloud) Well, well, well. I forgive you.
Sir: Birbal Kon Tha?
Student : Pta Nahi.
Sir: Padhai Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale.
Student: Raj,Sunny,Bunty, Kon Hain?
Sir: Pta Nhi.
Student: Beti Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale..
One day, when Akbar and Birbal were in discussions, Birbal happened to pass a harmless comment about Akbar’s sense of humour. But Emperor Akbar was in a foul mood and took great offense to this remark. He asked Birbal, his court-jester, friend and confidant, to not only leave the palace but also to leave the walls of the city of Agra. Birbal was terribly hurt at being banished.
A couple of days later, Akbar began to miss his best friend. He regretted his earlier decision of banishing him from the courts. He just could not do without Birbal and so sent out a search party to look for him. But Birbal had left town without letting anybody know of his destination. The soldiers searched high and low but were unable to find him anywhere.
Then one day a wise saint came to visit the palace accompanied by two of his disciples. The disciples claimed that their teacher was the wisest man to walk the earth. Since Akbar was missing Birbal terribly he thought it would be a good idea to have a wise man that could keep him company. But he decided that he would first test the holy man’s wisdom.
The saint had bright sparkling eyes, a thick beard and long hair. The next day, when they came to visit the court Akbar informed the holy man that since he was the wisest man on earth, he would like to test him. All his ministers would put forward a question and if his answers were satisfactory he would be made a minister. But if he could not, then he would be beheaded. The saint answered that he had never claimed to be the wisest man on earth, even though other people seemed to think so. Nor was he eager to display his cleverness but as he enjoyed answering questions, he was ready for the test.
One of the ministers, Raja Todarmal, began the round of questioning. He asked “Who is a man’s best friend on earth?” To which the wise saint replied, “His own good sense”. Next Faizi asked which was the most superior thing on earth? “Knowledge”, answered the saint. “Which is the deepest trench in the world?”, asked Abdul Fazal. And the saint’s answer was “a woman’s heart”. “What is that which cannot be regained after it is lost?” questioned another courtier and the reply he received was ‘life’. “What is undying in music” asked the court musician Tansen. The wise saint replied that it was the “notes”. And then he asked “which is the sweetest and most melodious voice at night -time? And the answer he received was “the voice that prays to God.”
Maharaj Mansingh of Jaipur, who was a guest at the palace asked, “what travels more speedily than the wind?” the saint replied that it was “man’s thought”. He then asked, “which was the sweetest thing on earth?” and the saint said that it was “a baby’s smile”.
Emperor Akbar and all his courtiers were very impressed with his answers, but wanted to test the saint himself. Firstly he asked what were the necessary requirements to rule over a kingdom, for which he was answered ‘cleverness’. Then he asked what was the gravest enemy of a king. The saint replied that it was ‘selfishness’. The emperor was pleased and offered the saint a seat of honour and asked him whether he could perform any miracles. The saint said that he could manifest any person the king wished to meet. Akbar was thrilled and immediately asked to meet his minister and best friend Birbal.
The saint simply pulled off his artificial beard and hair much to the surprise of the other courtiers. Akbar was stunned and could not believe his eyes. He stepped down to embrace the saint because he was none other than Birbal.
Akbar had tears in his eyes as he told Birbal that he had suspected it to be him and had therefore asked him whether he could perform miracles. He showered Birbal with many valuable gifts to show him how happy he was at his return.
Akbar : Hamare ammi abba humse itni mohabt karte thhe, ke hame sulane k lie sari sari raat jagte rehte, or hum fir b na sote the.
Birbal : Tbhi to aap eklote reh gaye huzoor.
How Akbar Meet Birbal
Akbar loved hunting and used to escape to go for hunting even from his studies. Well, later he became a better rider and hunter than any one of his courtiers. One day when Akbar went for hunting, he and his some of the courtiers went so fast that they left the others behind. As the evening fell, everybody got very hungry and thirsty, they found that they had lost their way and now did not know where to go.
At last they came to a junction of three roads. King was very happy to see the roads that now he could go reach his capital through one of these roads, but which road was to go to his capital – Agra. They were all thinking about it and could not decide it. In the mean time they saw a young boy coming along one road. The boy was summoned and Akbar asked him, “Hey young boy! Which road goes to Agra?” The boy smiled and spoke, “Huzoor, everybody knows that road cannot move so how these roads can go to Agra or anywhere else?” and laughed at his own joke.
Everybody was silent, didn’t say a word. The boy said again, “People travel, not the roads. Do they?” Emperor laughed at this and said, “No, you are right.” The Emperor asked again, “What is your name, young boy?” “Mahesh Das” The boy replied and asked the Emperor, “And who are you Huzoor? What is your name?” The Emperor took out his Ring and gave it to the boy. “You are talking to Emperor Akbar – the King of Hindustaan (India). We need fearless people like you. You come to the court, with this Ring I will recognize you immediately. Now tell me the way to get to Agra. We have to reach there soon?”
Mahesh Das bowing lowly pointed towards the road going to Agra, and the King headed on that road.
That is how the Emperor Akbar met the future Birbal.
Akbar to Birbal: Kuch aisa likho jise khushi me padho to gam ho… aur gam me padho to khushi ho.
Birbal ne likha:
Ye Waqt Guzar Jayega
Interesting story – Poet Raidas
In the town of Agra there lived a rich businessman. But he was also quite a miser. Various people used to flock outside his house everyday hoping for some kind of generosity, but they always had to return home disappointed. He used to ward them off with false promises and then never live up to his word.
Then one day, a poet named Raidas arrived at his house and said that he wanted to read out his poems to the rich man. As the rich man was very fond of poetry, he welcomed him in with open arms.
Raidas started to recite all his poems one by one. The rich man was very pleased and especially so when he heard the poem that Raidas had written on him, because he had been compared with ‘Kubera’, the god of wealth. In those days it was a custom for rich men and kings to show their appreciation through a reward or a gift, as that was the only means of earning that a poor poet possessed. So the rich man promised Raidas some gifts and asked him to come and collect them the next day. Raidas was pleased.
The next morning when he arrived at the house, the rich man pretended that he had never laid eyes on him before. When Raidas reminded him of his promise, he said that although Raidas was a good poet he understood very little of human nature. And that if rich businessman truly wanted to reward him, he would have done so the very same night. Raidas had been offered a reward not because he was really pleased or impressed, but to simply encourage him.
Raidas was extremely upset, but as there was nothing that he could do, he quietly left the house. On his way home he saw Birbal riding a horse. So he stopped him and asked for his help after narrating the whole incident. Birbal took him to his own house in order to come up with a plan. After giving it some thought he asked Raidas to go to a friend’s house with five gold coins and request the friend to plan a dinner on the coming full moon night, where the rich man would also be invited. Birbal then asked Raidas to relax and leave the rest to him.
Raidas had one trustworthy friend whose name was Mayadas. So he went up to him and told him the plan.. The next day, Mayadas went to the rich man’s house and invited him for dinner. The dinner has been planned for the coming full moon night. He said that he intended to serve his guests in vessels of gold, which the guests would get to take home after the meal. The rich man was thrilled to hear this and jumped at the offer.
After sunset on the full moon night, the rich man arrived at Mayadas’ house and was surprised to see no other guests there but Raidas. Anyhow, they welcomed him in and started a polite conversation. The rich man had come on an empty stomach and so was getting hungrier by the minute. Raidas and Mayadas were quite full as they had eaten just before the rich man’s arrival.
Finally at midnight the rich man could bear his hunger no longer and asked Mayadas to serve the food. Mayadas sounded extremely surprised when he asked him what food was he talking about. The rich man tried to remind him that he had been invited for dinner. At this point Raidas asked him for proof of the invitation. The rich man had no answer. Then Mayadas told him that he had just invited him to please him and had not really meant it. He then went on to say that even though they did not do anything good for other people they also would never try to hurt another human being. He asked the rich man not to feel bad.
At that point Birbal walked into the room and reminded the rich man of the same treatment that he had himself meted out to Raidas. The rich man realised his mistake and begged for forgiveness. He said that Raidas was a good poet and had not asked him for any reward. He himself had promised to give him some gifts and then cheated him out of them. To make up for his mistake he took out the necklace that he was wearing and gifted it to Raidas. Then they all sat down to eat a happy meal.
Raidas was all praise for Birbal and thanked him profusely. Emperor Akbar also invited him to his court and honoured him, all thanks to Birbal.
Birbal really was a wise man.
Caught the Thief
It so happened once that once a rich merchant’s house was robbed. The merchant suspected that the thief was one of his servants. So he went to Birbal and mentioned the incident. Birbal went to his house and assembled all of his servants and asked that who stole the merchant’s things. Everybody denied.
Birbal thought for a moment, then gave a stick of equal length to all the servants of the merchant and said to them that the stick of the real thief will be longer by two inches tomorrow. All the servants should be present here again tomorrow with heir sticks.
All the servants went to their homes and gathered again at the same place the next day. Birbal asked them to show him their sticks. One of the servants had his stick shorter by two inches. Birbal said, “This is your thief, merchant.”
Later the merchant asked Birbal, “How did you catch him?” Birbal said, “The thief had already cut his stick short by two inches in the night fearing that his stick will be longer by two inches by morning.”
Birbal Fake Death
One day the court barber, who was very jealous with Birbal, plotted a plan against him. So when the King called him again to trim his beard, he went and started trimming his beard. He said, “Sir, last night I dreamed about your father.” The King got interested, so he asked, “What did he say to you?”
“Sir, he said to me, that everything is good in paradise, but he feels a great absence of a good humorous man who can amuse him.” The King thought and thought, but nobody else he could think of except Birbal who could perform this kind of duty very well. And, naturally, the only way to go to heaven was through death. For a moment, Akbar was very sad to lose such a good man, but thinking of his father, he made up his mind.
He summoned Birbal and said, “I think Birbal you love me very much and you can sacrifice anything for me.” Birbal tried to understand his point but couldn’t guess. He said, “You know Majesty, I do.” “Then Birbal, please go to heaven to give company to my dear father.” Birbal understood that this was a wicked plan of somebody to kill him. He said to Emperor politely, “I will do so, but I need a few days to prepare myself to go to heaven.” The King said, “Certainly. You are giving me such a great favor, I allow you one week to prepare yourself.”
Now Birbal was worried. He thought, somebody has planned very well and he could not escape from this plan. He thought and thought. And then he found a way. He dug a ditch near his house which would serve as his grave, and dug a tunnel too which would open in a room of his house. After doing this, he returned to the Imperial Court. He said, ” I am ready, His Majesty, but there two conditions.” Akbar was so happy to hear this that he forgot that Birbal could put some odd conditions to him. He asked, “What are those conditions? Tell me soon. I will try to fulfill them so that you can go to heaven to be with my dear father.”
Birbal said, “His majesty, I wish to be buried near my house. And I want to be buried alive so that I can reach heaven alive to amuse your dear father.” The King found this logical and agreed up on them immediately.
So Birbal was buried alive near his house. Of course he made his way to his house where he lived in confinement for six months. After six months, he came out of hiding with grown beard and shabby hair and asked the permission to appear in the Royal Court.
Looking at him Akbar cried, “Where have you been Birbal?” Birbal said, “Your Majesty, I was in Heaven with your dear father. I had a very good time there with your father. He was so happy with my services that he gave me special permission to return to Earth.” Akbar was very anxious to know about his father, he asked, “Did he send any message for me?” Birbal said, “Yes Your Majesty, he said that very few barber can make it to go to Heaven, you can make out this from my grown beard and shabby hair, so he has asked to send your own barber to him immediately.
Akbar understood everything. He gave Birbal a big prize, and his barber the life sentence.
On a cold winter day Akbar and Birbal took a walk along the lake. A thought came to Birbal that a man would do anything for money. He expressed his feelings to Akbar. Akbar then put his finger into the lake and immediately removed it because he shivered with cold.
Akbar said “I don’t think a man would spend an entire night in the cold water of this lake for money.”
Birbal replied “I am sure I can find such a person.”
Akbar then challenged Birbal into finding such a person and said that he would reward the person with a thousand gold coins.
Birbal searched far and wide until he found a poor man who was desperate enough to accept the challenge. The poor man entered the lake and Akbar had guards posted near him to make sure that he really did as promised.
The next morning the guards took the poor man to Akbar. Akbar asked the poor man if he had indeed spent the night in the lake. The poor man replied that he had. Akbar then asked the poor man how he managed to spend the night in the lake. The poor man replied that there was a street lamp near by and he kept his attention affixed on the lamp and away from the cold. Akbar then said that there would be no reward as the poor man had survived the night in the lake by the warmth of the street lamp. The poor man went to Birbal for help.
Most Read story 38 – Birbal’s Khichri
The next day, Birbal did not go to court. The king wondering where he was sent a messenger to his home. The messenger came back saying that Birbal would come once his Khichri was cooked. The king waited hours but Birbal did not come. Finally the king decided to go to Birbal’s house and see what he was upto.
He found Birbal sitting on the floor near some burning twigs and a bowl filled with Khichri hanging five feet above the fire. The king and his attendants couldn’t help but laugh.
Akbar then said to Birbal “How can the Khichri be cooked if it so far away from the fire?”
Birbal answered “The same way the poor man received heat from a street lamp that was more than a furlong away.”
The King understood his mistake and gave the poor man his reward.
एक दिन बादशाह अकबर ने कागज पर पैन्सिल से एक लंबी लकीर खींची और बीरबल को बुला कर कहा: बीरबल कुछ ऐसा करो कि न तो यह लकीर घटाई जाए और न ही मिटाई जाए लेकिन छोटी हो जाए?
बीरबल ने फौरन उस लकीर के नीचे एक दूसरी लकीर पहली से बड़ी खींच दी.
बीरबल बोले: अब आप की लकीर इससे छोटी हो गई.
The Three Questions
King Akbar was very fond of Birbal. This made a certain courtier very jealous. Now this courtier always wanted to be chief minister, but this was not possible as Birbal filled that position.
One day Akbar praised Birbal in front of the courtier. This made the courtier very angry and he said that the king praised Birbal unjustly and if Birbal could answer three of his questions, he would accept the fact that Birbal was intelligent. Akbar always wanting to test Birbals wit readily agreed.
The three questions were
1. How many stars are there in the sky
2. Where is the centre of the Earth and
3. How many men and how many women are there in the world.
Immediately Akbar asked Birbal the three questions and informed him that if he could not answer them, he would have to resign as chief minister.
To answer the first question, Birbal brought a hairy sheep and said .There are as many stars in the sky as there is hair on the sheep’s body. My friend the courtier is welcome to count them if he likes.
To answer the second question, Birbal drew a couple of lines on the floor and bore an iron rod in it and said this is the centre of the Earth, the courtier may measure it himself if he has any doubts.
In answer to the third question, Birbal said Counting the exact number of men and women in the world would be a problem as there are some specimens like our courtier friend here who cannot easily be classified as either. Therefore if all people like him are killed, then and only then can one count the exact number.